On the surface of your life, everything is actually fine. Maybe you have a steady job, are relatively successful, have a decent income, a couple of kids and pets, a spouse, and live in a good neighborhood. 

The only problem is that it all feels fake to you. You love your children and your partner, but you can't deny the fact that underneath it all, you feel empty inside. The walls around you that were once solid are now crumbling. Something in your gut is gnawing painfully at you… What is it? Maybe you're going through a midlife crisis.

You're in middle age, you should feel settled and settled, but you don't. That's when the midlife crisis comes into play. As cliché as this term may sound, it has great mental depth and meaning, which we will explore in more detail today.

A midlife crisis is a challenging time in life that usually occurs between the ages of 45 and 65. A person feels fundamentally dissatisfied with his life so far and goes in search of greater meaning and more happiness.

The term midlife crisis was coined by psychologist Elliot Jacque in the 1960s and is quite common in the Western world. In psychology it is known as "developmental crisis" or "existential crisis", in astrology it is called "Saturn Return" and in spirituality it is called "Dark Night of the Soul".

Midlife Crisis Symptoms

Here are some of the main thoughts, feelings, and experiences that accompany a midlife crisis. How many of these can you identify with?

Fear of Mortality: Once your body starts showing signs of aging, you realize you are no longer a chicken. When you were 20, you could pretend that life was endless, but now you can't. This growing awareness can trigger a follow-up symptom.

Asking deep questions about your life: You begin to ask yourself questions that you may have avoided when you were younger. For example: “What is the meaning of life? Is there life after death? What is my destiny or spiritual mission? Is there more to life than making money and supporting a family?'

Feeling stuck and stagnant: You feel almost claustrophobic, or that you are "closed in a box" and can't get out. You're stuck in routines that you can't break out of.

You crave adventure: You want to break free, do something new, or be someone else. Just anything to avoid the dreaded feeling of stagnation.

Depression and anxiety: You try to feel motivated to do anything, but you are filled with apathy. You are worried about the question of what exactly is wrong with you that you no longer feel the passion like before. You no longer know what will bring you the right feeling of joy and fulfillment.

Feeling disillusioned: When you reflect on your life so far, you realize that nothing you've done has really brought you the lasting peace, happiness, or fulfillment you've been looking for.

You don't know what your purpose is: What is your destiny in this life? Why are you here on earth? What's the point of it all?

Time is more precious: You start to perceive time differently. Perhaps you feel guilty when you look back on your lifelong pursuit that now seems pointless. You want to start spending time on activities and with people that you find truly valuable.

You will reevaluate your relationships: As time becomes more valuable to you, you will begin to think more carefully about your close relationships. Do they bring you joy? Is there still a spark of love? Do significant people in your life meet your mental, emotional, or spiritual needs?

You feel the urge to do something… anything! Fearing that you will waste your life, knowing that half of it is already gone, you want to do something to get rid of these unpleasant feelings. Maybe you decide to buy an expensive car, sell your house, or move to another country. Some of that feeling of being stuck may go away, but the deeper longing inside still remains.

A psychosomatic illness has emerged: With all the stress you're experiencing from going through a crisis, you may experience strange illnesses that have no clear biological cause but are influenced by your mental state. Examples of these psychosomatic illnesses include chronic fatigue, chronic pain, insomnia, headaches, migraines, and gastrointestinal problems.

Your life values ​​change or become more important: If you have spent most of your life chasing success, financial stability or status, you will find that these inner values ​​dissolve. You think about the fact that they never really got you what you really wanted. If you value family, love, spiritual connection, and authentic living, these values ​​become more dominant now, especially if you've never had a chance to fully immerse yourself in them.

What insights came to your mind as you read the list above? Your thoughts and feelings are important and should not be ignored.

Midlife Crisis From a Man's Point of View and From a Woman's Point of View

Is there a difference between how a man experiences a midlife crisis and how a woman experiences it? Yes and no.

Men's midlife crisis often manifests itself in the following ways:

• Loss of desire for sex (sometimes the other way around)
• Toxic comparisons to other men regarding status, success and happiness
• Increased impulsive decision-making due to the feeling of being trapped
• Feeling numb

Mid-life crisis in women often manifests itself in the following ways:

• She is too preoccupied with her appearance, or on the contrary, she resigns and does not take care of herself.
• Feelings of heightened anxiety
• Inner emptiness (often due to grown children leaving home)
• Identity crisis, asking the question "Who am I now?"

The Deeper Meaning Behind a Midlife Crisis

There are many resources that offer advice on how to deal with a midlife crisis. You hear advice like, “Don't worry, it's only temporary, it happens when you really need a change… Talk to your therapist, they can prescribe medication if you're taking it really bad. Use this as an opportunity to heal your life. Do what you need to do if it makes you feel better.”
But rarely do you find spiritual resources that explore the deep meaning of the midlife crisis.

The midlife crisis is the archetypal call to adventure. It is a spiritual gateway to a deeper connection with your heart and soul.
This crisis is an opportunity to regain the connection with your soul that has been suppressed by everyday life. You are reconnecting with who you really are.

When you have to face the truth of your mortality, you are called to it. to rise above it, cross the threshold of your usual life and enter a new stage of being.

In Western society, suppressing the voice of the soul, many of us experience the ancient inner call of the spiritual wilderness , but most of us never really hear it or respond to it. The spiritual call to our lives comes especially at turning points in life and when we face something difficult. It can be triggered by the death of a loved one, suicidal depression, illness, near-death experience, divorce, and so on.

But there are three main milestones when the spiritual call resonates loudest in a person.

The first call is what we modernly call the "Quarterly Crisis." The first quarter life crisis occurs – as the name suggests – in the first quarter of our life. Usually after we finish high school or college. At this time, we intuitively know that we must "find ourselves" by leaving our family, friends, and hometowns. These people and places shaped our youthful identities as children and teenagers. Saying goodbye to everyone and everything you love is a deeply painful task, but it is an important stage of personal growth and maturation.

The second great call of the wild is called the "mid-life crisis." This crisis can come after experiencing a love affair, divorce, illness, severe work accident, empty nest, dead relationships, ongoing life dissatisfaction, or the death of a parent. The midlife crisis comes when you've gathered enough wisdom to know you won't live forever.

Most people who experience a midlife crisis have spent their entire lives working and providing for their families. They didn't have the time or capacity to ask important questions about life. They had to fly and care.  Eventually, something prompts them to ask, "Is that like everything?"

The third and final call often comes as a deathbed crisis. It comes if we haven't answered the previous two calls. The inevitability of approaching death creates such immense confusion and anxiety for the ego that the light of a deeper consciousness is finally allowed to shine through us. Many hospice workers can attest to this.

Although the answer to the deathbed crisis is "better late than never," it is a shame that so many people wait until their final moments to experience deep insight, soul connection, and inner peace. Some people will never experience this freedom.

We all have to accept our impending death at some point in order to live life to the fullest. The crises of the quarters of life, middle age and deathbed, are the gateways through which we can come to deeper fulfillment, meaning, joy and experience spiritual flight.

Re-examine your mid-life crisis and understand that it is a maturing process .  Remember that everything you feel about her is valid.

How to Become a Spiritual Alchemist and Answer the Spiritual Call

Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl G. Jung is a powerful example of a "spiritual alchemist" who turned his midlife crisis into gold. After a series of bizarre and terrifying dreams and visions, he began to wonder if he had gone mad. Many of his dreams and visions are available in the posthumously published books The Red Book or Liber Novus.

Instead of running from it or dismissing it as a psychotic breakdown, Jung concluded that he was going through a sort of midlife crisis and began to explore his unconscious mind. The result of this production, this inner journey, was a mental, emotional and spiritual renewal for Jung and much of the work we have from him today.

To accept the call of a mid-life crisis, to go in search of your soul, you must be open. You have to be willing to face what makes you uncomfortable, slowly but steadily. Here are some tips to find gold in your crisis:

Learn the Art of Surrender 

Unless you learn to let things go and surrender to the process of death and rebirth, your midlife crisis will be a continuous and terrible trial. It is much more advantageous to let go of the rudder. It can mean taking a break from work, giving up old responsibilities, creating a new space for self-care.

It is extremely important. It allows you to let go of your former limiting self, such as all your unhealthy beliefs, ambitions, roles and perceptions of what you should be.

Surrender also allows you to let your Soul manifest. This means all your deepest desires, dreams and wildest passions.

Appropriate techniques that can help you learn this are mindfulness, meditation, writing letters to your younger self. Remember that crises come before important breakthroughs.

Write about your experiences

It's a simple way to internally process everything you're going through right now. Also try the free-flow writing method and write without grading or editing anything.

You might want to explore questions like: When did your midlife crisis start and what came right before it? How are you feeling right now? How do you practice self-care in the face of this big change? What are your deepest values ​​in life? What unlived parts of yourself would you like to express now? How can you go your own way? Is there gold hidden in this crisis?

Find a Mentor

As you enter the heart of your midlife crisis, you may want to confide in other people who have gone through a similar experience. Such a connection can bring you a great sense of emotional relief, psychological support and connection. Support can also be found over the Internet and in online communities.

Finding a trained counselor, life coach, or therapist will also be of great help to you, especially if you are struggling with feelings of emptiness, anxiety, or depression.

Loneliness is normal, make friends

Be prepared to experience loneliness as your old anchors, comforts and even family or friends drift away. The healing balm for this situation is to learn to practice self-love. Now is the perfect time to get to know each other more.
What do you really like to eat, watch, wear and do?

Ignore what others expect of you. Let go of old patterns that hold you back and allow yourself to blossom. If this process involves going out to dinner every week, buying flowers, or going to that place you've always dreamed of, do it without regret.

Find Your Spiritual Path

Many people are suspicious of personal and free spirituality, especially if they were raised materialistic or fanatically religious. But spirituality and religion are not the same thing. You can be spiritual, but not religious. Besides, you can be a rational person but also have a healthy respect for the great mystery of life.

Many people who experience a midlife crisis do not understand that it is the call of their soul . In an attempt to satisfy their Soul's desire for greater depth, they resort to addiction or do meaningless somersaults. Perhaps they spend on a Ferrari, bag younger lovers, or succumb to the temptations of consumer culture.

The midlife crisis is a time when the shadow self, the repressed part of ourselves, comes out to be seen, healed and transformed. It can be easy to let it consume us, or to ignore it completely and fight to maintain some semblance of our normality and non-crisis.

To find your true spiritual path, simply start exploring. Start meditating, go for walks, buy spiritual literature and study, go to a workshop, get a massage, go to nature. There are many ways to reconnect with outer life and yourself.

In Conclusion

Although the midlife crisis is indeed painful and can shake up your life and psyche a lot, it is also an important call from your Soul to begin your spiritual journey and find your true identity.

In the second half of life, the questions come: “Who are you now, apart from the roles you already play? What does your soul ask of you? Do you have the means to change direction? To deconstruct your painfully achieved identity? Do you risk failure, marginalization and loss of collective consent? If you accept this call, however painful and challenging it may be, you will find love, joy and a deeper meaning in life.

Don't look at your crisis as something bad or pathological. Modern society is very supportive of ageism and the midlife crisis is often portrayed in movies as crazy people who do indecent things that do not fit in with a decent and normal life. This is how the system cultivates in us the idea that it is actually something bad that does not happen to orderly people. After all, we can't start looking for ourselves in middle age, we should have found that a long time ago... In such an idea, if you believe it, then there is not much room left for spiritual search, self-acceptance and free discovery of your spiritual path. Such an idea leads a person to fight the crisis and try to hide it, which is not only unhealthy, but also completely counterproductive. As long as you are alive, you are still going through the process of changing, maturing and growing. You are never done or static. It is therefore normal and healthy to have a spiritual awakening in the middle of life, or at any other time.

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