First of all, I would just like to say a very happy new year to all you lovely Empaths out there. Let’s hope 2024 brings peace, happiness and health to all.

I write this post whilst sitting out on a veranda in Marbella, Spain, overlooking a rather spectacular golf course. My husband is out on the course playing golf, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to write a post, and share some thoughts with you, as I’ve not had much time to write of late.

As I tap away at my keyboard, the sun is shining down through a cloud-speckled blue sky, and within my eyeline palm trees are swaying gently on a light breeze. Perfect!

It is just so lovely being outdoors. The past few months in the UK have been pretty much non-stop rain. I’m not sure what kind of weather you’re experiencing, in your part of the world, but being able to get outdoors without an umbrella and a rain coat is so uplifting, and now almost feels like a novelty.

Anyway, I digress from the topic I wanted to discuss with you all today, and that is the subject of whether we should have the right to control freedom of speech to protect our feelings. Because, in a world that appears to be on the cusp of collapse, having freedom of speech just seems so important, especially when so many people are swallowing down their truth for fear of being cancelled, attacked, ridiculed or rejected.

I recently watched an interview with the comedy actor, John Cleese. He was discussing the importance of creativity in our lives, and how modern society and the education system seems to be stamping it out.

A point he also made, that I found to be very valid and interesting, was how people are no longer taking control of their emotions and are instead trying to control the words and behaviours of others.

When we attack someone’s opinions, and try to control what they say or think, we are restricting them from being their true selves. We are also taking away human liberties, which allows for us all to have different outlooks on life, whether those outlooks be right or wrong in the eyes of others.

I am not talking about trying to curb harsh demeaning comments that are said or written purely to hurt others, nor am I advocating for unnecessary cruelty or bullying. But everyone should have a right to an opinion, and be able to vocalise that opinion, regardless of whether it offends or whether others don’t believe in those same ideals.

We are all different, even as Empaths, in our beliefs and ideals, but what I am seeing now is how individuality is being stamped out. And, I don’t know about you, but I find that quite scary.

As a Sensitive person, I am more than aware how we can take offence in someone’s words or actions, or how we can have our feelings hurt by other people’s insensitivity. I also know how dark or pained emotions feel inside, especially those times when we don’t feel good enough.

As I look back on my own life, I can now see how the emotional reactions I endured have served a purpose in my own development. Through the steps I have taken, in the quest to feel more emotionally balanced, I have naturally evolved. As I know many of you have too.

Instead of expecting others to change for us, it is part of our responsibility to find out what is really causing any hyper-sensitivities and then work to find balance. That is not to say we have to do it alone or without help, but nevertheless, we’re the ones who have to do the work.

And sometimes, we simply have to accept that we are highly sensitive people, who might always be on the defensive or offensive.

Take Back Control

I am constantly advocating ways for Empaths to take back control of their emotions. This blog is full of posts written to help Sensitive people find balance or get back in control of what they feel, especially within this world that is constantly manipulating emotions, so that they can enjoy the life they were meant to lead, free from unnecessary pain.  

However, when we expect others to change their ways for us, instead of looking at ways to take control of our reactions, we are effectively giving our power away. We are allowing others to be in control of us.

The irony is all the answers we need to find happiness and contentment lie within. We just need to find the right keys to unlock the doors to our hidden potential.

These keys can be as simple as stilling the mind, enough to hear our quiet guiding voice, through meditative practices, or by changing the diet, or balancing our hormones, or simply getting out of a toxic relationship. And sometimes, it is just discovering what is making us unhappy or even depressed.

Whilst I’m on the subject of depression, something that is currently massively overlooked, in these times of shutting people down to protect people’s feelings, is depression has been skyrocketing. This in itself shows the approach of controlling the behaviour and words of others does not work in making people happy.

As I have discussed many times before, the types of emotions that are currently being ignited, do untold damage to both the body and mind. The energy of which keeps the bearer continuously in their heads, which effectively prevents any true connection back to the heart.

Staying within the heart, so to speak, is the best way for us to remain connected to our own intuition, which in essence keeps us on the right track.

Also, a question that is not being asked is why is everyone so incredibly sensitive, emotionally, to everything? And I am not just talking about the HSPs and Empaths. I am talking about a large percentage of the population. What is causing this pain?

This is me talking as an Empath, someone who overly feels everything and always has. And I would not wish emotional pain on anyone. But nor would I want to take anyone else’s freedom away to protect my feelings. Because, another very big lesson I have learnt on this journey is that not only do we have the responsibility to get in charge of our emotions, but also how we interpret the intentions of others.

All I am currently seeing around the media are reasons to be fearful or angry. And the thing is, people are reading and believing headlines, designed to distract, divide and offend, instead of stopping to question the narrative behind them.

Offence Cannot Be Given

There is a saying that offence cannot be given, only taken. Which suggests that we have the power to choose whether we should be offended or not. And that also means we have a choice whether we allow ourselves to get riled or insulted over goading headlines.

As a society, instead of giving people more reasons to be angry or fearful, we need to be helping people find the root cause of their sensitivities and emotional pain. And help each other heal, instead of trying to silence people. Because being trapped inside a world where there is no freedom of opinion or speech is a seriously frightening place to be. Think George Orwell’s 1984

We need to be looking more at reasons why so many people are suffering and cannot cope with life. The old adage that we are now living longer, so people didn’t live long enough to experience what they are now suffering, doesn’t work anymore. Because this is not an old person thing. Many young people are not coping with life.

Life in the Past

We only need to go back 80 years to our grandparent’s era, and see that the masses were not experiencing what we currently are.

Something they didn’t experience, back in the day, was EMF, chemicals in their diets or genetically altered foods, they also didn’t have hormone disruptors like plastics, and they weren’t constantly stuck indoors looking at computer screens whilst being bombarded with blue light. In fact, there’s probably a long list of toxic things they didn’t endure that we do.

Granted, their sanitary conditions weren’t what they are today, and they were also exposed to toxins in their environment that we no longer are. The place where I live used to be a big mining area. Mining was the main source of income for many households. In fact, most of my ancestors on my father’s side were miners, so they would have been exposed to all kinds of noxious dust and harsh working conditions. And every day, when they went to work, there was always a risk to life if, for example, a mineshaft collapsed.

Obviously, there were other toxic work places, like factories that had no health and safety measures. There was also food and money shortages (aka The Great Depression) that made life difficult. But people just seemed to get on with it, and made the most out of life. At least that’s what I can tell from the many stories I have been told or read.

Although we may have come a long way in some respects, we have also regressed in others. And people, especially the young, are suffering the consequence.

The Cause

So, getting back to what is the cause of all this deep unhappiness and depression. In my opinion, a big cause is the fact our hormones have been hacked. And not in a good way. Which is having the effect of making people unable to control how they feel, both emotionally and physically.

Ask any woman who has experienced a monthly period or gone through menopause, how their moods and happiness can be impacted by shifting hormones. We will tell you that our hormones can make us depressed, angry, upset, give us headaches, fatigue, brain fog, and more. And yes, we can be overly emotional, or sensitive to the words and intentions of others.

But I don’t think it was ever suggested that people should be stopped from speaking their opinions, just to stop us having our feelings hurt.

It reminds me of when we are not feeling good enough, and we look to the outside world, wishing for it to change. We may think, for example, if that person were nicer to me, I would feel happier. And then we may get what we wished for, but yet feel no better. It doesn’t complete us or make us happy. We then look for something or someone else to change how we feel, and then when that doesn’t work, something else. Generally, when we look outside of ourself for answers it doesn’t make us happier. That is an inside job.

Emotions are Transient

To quote Matt Haig, ‘You are not your feelings, you just experience them. Like walking in the rain. But the rain will pass.’

And to add to that quote, if we want to get away from the rain we go back inside. If we stand outside and wait for someone else to bring an umbrella to shelter us, we will just get wet.

Yes, emotions come and emotions go. Sometimes they can be so all-encompassing that they are almost suffocating. But unless we take steps to get back in control, we will be forever at the mercy of our emotions.

Sometimes in life, we all need the reminder that waiting for someone else to make changes to their lives in order to change ours doesn’t work. Even in a relationship, there’s got to be both parties working to make it succeed.

So, in culmination, although I do not accept that we should expect people to change their beliefs or opinions in order to protect our feelings, I do believe we should all be working together to help those who are suffering, and try to find the root cause.

And perhaps we will all benefit from showing more empathy and understanding, in how we express our ideals and beliefs, so that we don’t cause unnecessary harm to others.

Ok, that’s my musings for today.

I hope everything is keeping perfect in your world.

Until next time,

Diane

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