She searched for her Beloved

From the minute she was born

Yet somehow he eluded her….

And with it, came a Quest

To know, more than anything else,

The hidden Truth,

The Hidden Mystery of Mysteries,

That which had no voice,

Was not tangible,

Yet which whispered there

In the deepest depths of her soul…..

She remembered him when she was seventeen

In the visions, the dreams

Which came out of nowhere….

She knew his face…

She knew his voice…

She knew him intimately…

Yet, not where she walked

As she searched for him everywhere….

As he eluded her

She searched for the ultimate

In deeper knowledge,

The hunger inside her to know

Was more than anything else…

She devoured the books,

She researched

She prayed for a Higher path

A deeper Experience

Of All-that-is

As she then served

The masses with all that she had…

The women…

The children…

The men ….

The paupers and Kings….

It mattered not to her what titles they bore

For she saw the souls that were lost

So she became the words of Love

And encouragement

And often through her own tears

She became that light in the darkness

That Word

That Beacon

For she expended herself

Ever in highest service

For she knew no other path

But that of her soul

And highest calling thereof….

Then one day, all which she had so carefully constructed,

And spend so many hours putting together

All fell apart….

As she saw how her work simply disintegrated

She threw herself before heavens

Lamented and ask:  “What is this?

Why me?  Why?”

And she was asked to let go

Take leaps of faith

And to learn to fly like an eagle

With wings perfectly fit to fly….

And shown thousands out there

Needing her to learn to do just that…

So she took flying lessons,

And she dreamed of the day

When she would meet her eagle

And could finally do the mating dance

And they would fly higher and higher

And then she would fold her wings,

And he would be there, catching her…

And then reversed…

And she met her beautiful eagle

She recognized his face

And his soul..

It was there in his eyes…

The voice…

It was as remembered

As Energy exploded

Within and without….

But within her was a torrent,

Something she could not voice

And more than this, a deeper and higher calling

Which she knew she had vowed to fulfil…

And somehow that calling was bigger

And greater than the sum total of self…

For that hunger inside of her

To know deeper and more

And to return what was lost,

The Mystical call,

Was greater than even him at the time…

So she went  and followed that call,

Never realizing until years later,

That indeed it was the call of her soul

To go and do what needed to be done,

For she did not only do this for herself

And the Quest,

But for the greater humanity….

In the midst of this

Love came to greet her

But she was not ready to open her heart and soul

To embrace her Beloved

As yet,

For still there were memories,

And deep pain,

Which she could not voice,

Yet had a voice,

It was unspeakable

The pain….

And then,

She had to relive that

And to release it

And more than this

To forgive him

And all men

For the past lives

Had the trauma

Of burnings, of shame, of being persecuted

To the death and beyond…

And as the releasing came

Something deep inside of her shifted

And she felt that deep Love

The  longing

To connect once again,

But this time,

Her prayer became the prayer of her soul,

To love ever deeper

To have the heart open no matter what

And to experience ever deeper levels of love

And being loved

And More than this

That her sexuality,

Her sacredness as woman

Her Rose

Would open up more and more

So that she could finally love

With all that she is

Without boundaries

Without restrictions

Beyond the beyond…

And she was taken to the Temples of Love

In the Sacred Halls of the Divine

And prepared for her Beloved

Anointed with Rose Oils

And with the Preciousness

Which cannot be voiced…

She was shown the beauty

The exquisiteness of her Beloved

Him she has loved of yore,

And whom she loves

Ad infinitum…

A new birth  arose

And with it

deepening of love

Which goes beyond love

Where the cosmos expands

Within two

To become the ultimate

Illumined Sun

As linked to the 7^th….

And with it love deepens

Into infinitum

And explodes

As the thousand suns within suns

Of all Wisdom and Knowledge

And all That lies hidden

Within the Centrals Suns

Now finally made itself known….

Beloved!

Within you I find

That Genius

That Knowing

That ultimate State of Being

I have searched for so long…

Only with you!

You are my Sun

Of Illumination

You are the Soul

Of my Soul

You are the infinite Book

The Scroll

In which I lose myself

Only to find that with each page I turn

I find more to explore

And to love

To unite with within….

Sun of my Sun!

Beloved….

You fill me…

I fill you…

And we are the filling

The Knowing

The Wisdom

Beloved

We are

All!

Ad Infinitum!

Ad Infinitum!

Ad Infinitum!

My homecoming

In you!

(Judith Kusel)

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