The afternoon sun is slipping below the horizon, turning the ash tree’s web of black branches pressed against the sky into fine art.

Soon, a cloud of starlings will settle at the top before making their way south. When these chatty kids arrive, I imagine them crafting travel plans together before lifting off in unison toward their next adventure. It’s a sure sign winter is on the way.

As I sit here admiring the lingering light, I’m thinking about the aftermath of the election and how last week’s blog prompted a handful of emails from unhappy readers because I stepped away from my “neutral” position regarding politics. The readers who were gracious and thoughtful in their responses made it easy to consider their views with an open heart. The few that were mean-spirited were a potent reminder of how important it is to process our feelings before we act. Otherwise, our message will meet a wall of defensiveness and never get through.

Once I took the time to metabolize my reactions to the election, I could appreciate how important it is to continue building tolerance muscles that allow me to be receptive to different points of view. Healing requires this openness. We share a country with more than 330 million people, each with a lineage of experience different than our own. If we stop to consider the enormous variety of needs, desires, fears, and perspectives that drive our choices, we have a better chance of finding some compassion for each other.

I have the privilege of worrying about the environment and women retaining agency over their bodies, for example, because I can afford to put food on the table. Millions of people don’t have that luxury. Rather than judge them for not sharing my views, I look for common ground. I still remember the embarrassment on my Mother’s face when we had to hold up the line at the grocery store while I returned items we couldn’t afford. Millions of people are having that experience right now and it makes survival a top priority. I want to extend my hand, not slap theirs.

As for talking about politics, here’s where I stand: We can’t heal what we choose to hide. Like many of you, I grew up during a time when families never talked about religion or politics along with a whole host of other issues considered “dirty laundry.” Those days are over. The issues facing our country aren’t just political. They’re existential. We need to face the truth together and talk things through. Sarcasm, cutting remarks, or posts designed to shove our beliefs down someone’s throat will never build bridges that lead to unity and progress on important issues. These forms of communication simply relieve pressure while keeping us separate and stuck. And we can’t afford to be stuck right now.

So, hang in there with me. While some folks are in it for the fight, most of us want to work together. Let’s learn from each other. I’m open to all points of view and I hope you’ll afford me the same grace.

Love,
Cheryl

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