Kindfulness is a word I use quite a lot. Sounds like mindfulness, right? That’s not an accident.

Kindfulness is any of three things:

• It’s any mindfulness-based meditation practice where at least part of the focus is on thinking compassionately or kindly.
• It’s being mindfully kind (kindful) as you go about your day.
• It’s learning about the importance of compassion and kindness while you learn meditation (so that the understanding feeds the above).

I wish I could take credit for the word, but someone else came up with it first. I’m not sure who, to be honest, as it’s been around for a while. Kindfulness is a modern way of reuniting mindfulness with some of its lost roots.

How mindfulness landed in the West

You see, mindfulness was traditionally a practice that was taught alongside a set of guidelines that helped practitioners live more mindfully kind – that is, to think kindly, to speak kindly, to be responsible in what you say, to treat each other respectfully and kindly. These guidelines are known in Buddhism as the Eightfold Path.

But when mindfulness made its debut in the West, it was a slimmed-down version of the package. It had to lose the cultural, moral, ethical, and spiritual parts for it to catch on. It became ‘mindfulness-lite’.

Jon Kabat-Zinn’s journey to bringing mindfulness to the West is nothing short of remarkable. While studying at MIT, he discovered meditation and found it transformative. By 1971, armed with a PhD in molecular genetics, he joined the faculty at Brandeis University in Boston and worked in a hospital—a setting that would later become pivotal in his mission to adapt mindfulness for Western audiences.

While passionate about meditation and certain that it could help many Westerners, he appreciated that the language and cultural accompaniment wouldn’t catch on. Fresh from an intensive meditation retreat, he conceived of a way to make mindfulness practice available to Westerners in such a way that the benefits could also be scientifically validated. He could teach mindfulness to hospital outpatients and in so doing show that it had real clinical benefits.

So in the spring of 1979, he met with the clinical directors of primary care, pain, and orthopedic clinics at the hospital. Would they be open to referring patients to his program – an 8-week stress-busting course?

There was no risk to the hospital. It would be patients who weren’t responding to their treatment. They would stay on their meds but just add some mindfulness practice to the mix.

So it began in the fall of 1979, where the first few cycles of patients were referred. They learned how to practice mindfulness as a seated practice and in daily life. Kabat-Zinn had to lose all the spiritual, moral, and ethical associations in teaching it, lest it be viewed as religious. It had to be shown to be a purely secular practice, and one that could be tested. This was downtown Boston, after all, not a monastery in Tibet.

Well, it was a huge hit. Patients loved it. It helped them a lot. There were clear clinical benefits.

Within a year, it was so successful that the head of the hospital had invited it to become part of the department of medicine at the hospital. Mindfulness had made it into the mainstream. A few iterations later, it was MBSR – Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction.

Within a few more decades, mindfulness had swept through the West. It was taught in boardrooms all over the world. Even Google employees and the US Army were learning it.

As time went on, it became more streamlined. Nowadays, most people learn mindfulness from a quick instruction or from an app. Most of my friends learned it from an app.

Some mindfulness teachers who run longer courses do, of course, as Kabat-Zinn did, educate about the importance of being mindfully kind (kindful), but this part is missed from much of the shorter instructions.

But despite the streamlining, mindfulness has been of huge benefit to millions of people around the world. Me included! It helps me feel clearer in my mind, more calm, and helps me be more present in my day-to-day life.

It also helps people manage their stress, sleep better, take more control of their lives, and feel calmer. It’s even helped some reduce their blood pressure.

But with all the streamlining, some Buddhist scholars have worried about the consequences of it having lost its roots. After all, it’s now no longer embedded within a compassion and kindness-based context.

Why should they be concerned, though, given that mindfulness has benefitted so many people?

Can mindfulness make you selfish?

Well, it comes down to this. Traditionally, mindfulness wasn’t just about benefitting the practitioner. It was never just about ‘Me’. It was about ‘Us’ – all of us.

The whole set of guidelines that it was taught as part of helped guide practitioners in becoming more compassionate and mindfully kind. In so doing, it benefitted the world. Beginners started out with a focus on ‘me’ and soon learned about the importance of ‘we’. They essentially became better citizens.

Now, some researchers have looked into these concerns, and some are warranted. For example, in 2021, Michael Poulin and his team at The State University of New York at Buffalo, found that people with a world view known as ‘independent’, where people tend to think of themselves in terms of their own internal attributes – essentially a greater focus on ‘me’ rather than ‘we’ – became less kind after practicing mindfulness; less kind than if they hadn’t done any mindfulness at all. 

People who had more of an interdependent world view, on the other hand, that is, who think of themselves as interconnected with the lives of others – more of ‘we’ and less of ‘me’ – became kinder after mindfulness practice.

Some other research has found that people high in empathy become kinder after learning mindfulness, but people low in empathy become less kind. Again, less kind than they would have been if they hadn’t done any mindfulness.

These studies and others suggest that, just as muscle stretching exercises stretch our muscles, mindfulness meditation stretches us on the inside – in the direction of our existing personality. 

What’s the issue with that?

Well, as the above studies show, while people who are naturally kind or high in empathy, or who have an interdependent world view, tend to become even kinder when they practice mindfulness, the reverse is true for those lower in empathy, or who have more self-focused, independent, world view. And the concern is that this independent world view is actually the dominant world view in some Western nations where mindfulness is practiced extensively.

For these people, mindfulness practice can leave them less kind, more self-absorbed. Narcissists who practice mindfulness even tend to become more narcissistic.

This isn’t true of everyone, of course, because there are other factors. Someone with an independent self-construal but who is high in empathy, for example, will tend to become kinder with mindfulness practice. 

But it is a factor, and that’s the point. There’s a tendency that without a grounding in compassion and kindness to help orient our moral compass, mindfulness can make some people more self-centered and less kind than they would be had they not learned mindfulness at all.

Enter Kindfulness.

Kindfulness

Kindfulness is a modern way of re-introducing a grounding in compassion and kindness in a way that avoids the spiritual, religious, and cultural attachments that tend to put many Westerners off, without losing anything from mindfulness.

It delivers the benefits of mindfulness but adds a sprinkle of kindness into the mix. Practically, this means weaving kindness into some mindfulness practices as well as our everyday interactions. For instance, instead of simply focusing on your breath during meditation, you might spend a moment or two also reflecting on kind thoughts for yourself or others.

Similarly, as you navigate your day, you could make an effort to speak gently, offer encouragement, or simply listen attentively – being mindfully kind. These small, intentional, mindful, acts of kindness help create a ripple effect of positivity in both your life and the lives of those around you.

How to Be Kindful

For the most part, being kindful simply means to be kind as you go about your life. Be mindful of how you treat people. Be mindful of what you say and how you say it. And in being mindful, try to orient yourself towards kindness.

Cut people some slack. You never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. For example, I remember a time when a colleague seemed unusually abrupt during a meeting. Later, I learned they were caring for a sick family member and had barely slept. Despite the smiles we wear and the front we show to the world, many people are struggling inside.

Encourage each other. Support each other. The world needs lifters, not critics.

Be a friend. Listen. Be present in people’s lives. Really present.

It’s these seemingly little things that matter most because these are the things we do most often. And they are the glue that holds society together.

And even though they may seem like small things, it’s often later in life that we come to realize that they were in fact the big things.

Kindfulness Meditation

There are also Kindfulness meditation practices. Recall that these are any mindfulness-based practices where at least some part of the mental focus is toward thinking compassionately or kindly. Metta (the Loving Kindness meditation) is such a kindfulness practice.

Here, we focus on a handful of phrases as we think of others. Some common ones are ‘May you be happy’, ‘May you be healthy’, ‘May you be well’, ‘May you live with ease’. For instance, you can say these phrases as you sit in meditation, or silently repeat them while waiting in line, or while sitting on a bus or train, or even while you walk along the street, in each case dedicating kind wishes to the strangers around you. It’s a simple yet powerful way to integrate kindfulness into daily life.

I have recorded a whole suite of kindfulness meditation practices (there’s 21 to choose from) that are freely available on YouTube, including a loving-kindness version. You can find them here. They help build an awareness and appreciation of kindness and compassion in various different ways. They’re also relaxing.

Go Kindly

There’s a heap of extra benefits to having a focus in life on being kind, best you can.

Kindfulness meditation can make us happier and improve connections with others. For instance, a 2021 study led by Fynn-Mathis Trautwein at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences in Leipzig, Germany, found that regular kindness-focused meditations significantly enhanced participants’ feelings of social connectedness and empathy.

It can also help us become more compassionate and kinder, calm the nervous system, reduce pain, and even slow ageing, as suggested by research linking reduced stress responses to improved cellular health.

Kindfulness, as we go about our lives, also supports mental health. It boosts happiness and helps protect against depression. It’s also good for the heart, can reduce inflammation, and support the immune system. Learn more about this here.

It also helps develop friendships and relationships of all sorts.

And it’s contagious. Highly so.

In fact, it’s so contagious that even seemingly small kindnesses can have a huge impact.

So never underestimate the importance, or impact, of the seemingly small things. Simple words of encouragement and support matter. Saying thank you matters to the person hearing it. And those reassuring smiles that say, ‘I see you’ as well as those pats on the shoulder that say, ‘You’ve got this’. Start today with one small act of kindfulness and see how it ripples out.

They all matter.

You matter!

The original article is copyrighted by the author listed above and is posted on CrystalWind.ca ©2024. All rights reserved. Unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or use of this content, in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission. Discover the wisdom of CrystalWind.ca! Since 2008, we've been dedicated to awakening, enlightenment, and self-help to empower your spiritual journey. Dive in and grow with us—your next step awaits! #CrystalWind #SpiritualJourney