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Embrace Stillness and Transform Your Life
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- Written by David R. Hamilton PhD
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We live in a time where we’re constantly urged us to fix, improve, and hustle.
Action is equated with progress, and in many cases, it’s true—hard work and initiative often lead to success. Yet, there are moments when the best thing to do is nothing at all, to be still and see what happens.
This idea – of being still – seems counterintuitive. Surely doing nothing means our goals will fall away. We’ll fail.
The skill is in knowing when to do nothing, and why. It can be in our moments of choosing to be still that we get our best insights and that circumstances take a leap forward.
Because the truth is, perhaps you don’t need to fix everything, and sometimes fixing gets in the way.
The Culture of Fixing
From an early age, we are taught to solve problems. Education emphasizes critical thinking and problem-solving skills, and the professional world rewards those who can swiftly identify and rectify issues.
This mindset is incredibly valuable! But, and it’s a big But… it can also be exhausting and counterproductive, especially when applied indiscriminately to every aspect of our lives.
For example, in our personal lives, the urge to fix can manifest in various ways—constantly trying to improve relationships, always seeking self-improvement, or relentlessly striving to achieve our goals. While these endeavours are, of course, noble, they can also lead to burnout, anxiety, and a perpetual sense of inadequacy.
There is an ancient wisdom in the practice of stillness. Spiritual traditions, from Buddhism to the Tao to Stoicism, advocate for the power of being present and allowing things to unfold naturally. This doesn’t mean passivity or apathy though. Rather, it’s about recognizing that not every situation requires our intervention.
The key is to make being still an action, a conscious choice to let go of the need to fix or control. When we do, there are natural benefits that unfold. Here’s a few:
- Clarity and Perspective
When we take a step back and allow ourselves to be still, this is when we gain clarity and perspective. When things in life seem chaotic, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and lose sight of what’s really important. By pausing, we create space to reflect and observe, which often leads to insights that certainly wouldn’t emerge in the heat of the moment.
What evolves naturally from this is something like action – pause and be still – action – pause and be still – action… etc.
- Natural Resolution
Some problems resolve themselves without our interference and trying to fix only gets in the way. Relationships, for instance, often benefit from a period of cooling off rather than immediate confrontation. By giving others—and ourselves—the space to process emotions and thoughts, conflicts can sometimes dissolve naturally.
- Energy Conservation
I think most of us would agree that constantly trying to fix everything is draining. By selectively choosing when to act and when to remain still, we can focus our efforts on what will have the most significant impact.
Practical Steps to Embrace Stillness
So how do we embracing stillness? And especially when we’ve been taught the mantra of ‘Action! Action! Action!’ The truth is that it takes practice and intention.
We have to be clear in our minds of why we should be still. We have to decide that doing nothing can sometimes be the best action of all, and that being still can often lead to deep and important insights and solutions. And it can recharge our batteries.
Here are some practical steps to help you integrate this approach into your life:
- Mindfulness Meditation
Incorporate mindfulness meditation into your daily routine. Even a few minutes a day can help cultivate a sense of inner calm and presence when the hustle and bustle of life is happening around and in your life.
Mindfulness teaches us to observe our thoughts and feelings without immediately reacting to them. It’s a highly useful skill that builds presence of mind and the strength and focus to remain still in challenging situations.
- Set Boundaries
Learn to set boundaries around your time and energy. Despite the urge, not every problem requires your immediate attention, and not every issue is yours to fix. Prioritize what really matters (including your mental health!) and give yourself permission to let go of the rest.
- Practice Acceptance
Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation or giving up. It’s about acknowledging reality as it is in the moment. It halts the urge to act and creates a momentary pause. But it’s enough, because acceptance is a conscious choice.
By accepting situations, people, and ourselves as they are, we reduce the urge to constantly change and control everything. We allow the natural flow of things.
- Reflect and Journal
Take time to reflect on your experiences and journal your thoughts. It helps to reinforce the importance and power of being still. It creates a record where we can see how situations evolve over time, often showing us that many issues resolved themselves without our intervention.
And writing can also be a powerful tool for processing emotions and gaining additional insights.
Where do we go from here?
The practice of stillness is a radical act of self-care and wisdom, especially because the world seems so obsessed with fixing and improving.
But by allowing ourselves to be still and see what happens, we tap into a deeper understanding of life’s natural rhythms and resolutions. We learn that not every problem required our intervention and that sometimes, the best action was no action at all, to just be present and trust the process.
The key in all this is balance. Some things require action and some things work better when we fix them. But applying this notion to everything is where we run into problems. It’s about choosing when to act and when to be still and let things be.
And that depends on the situation, and it depends on you. When we learn the skill of stillness and the power of letting go, we naturally come to realise that we don’t need to attend to everything all of the time.
And there’s great freedom in that. So embrace the power of stillness, and discover the profound peace and clarity it can bring to your life.
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