To say these last few weeks have been intense is an understatement. Whether it was out there in the dualistic polarized world or within ourselves, there have been lots of intense emotions, perhaps physical, financial and relationship upheaval.

Things are intense and getting more so. This is the time more than any other, where we need to take a few deep breaths, and go within.

To suggest that anything outside our self, whether it’s politics, whether it’s a relationship or an event is responsible for how we feel is not taking our mastery seriously.

Not that the outside world does not have an impact on us. It’s very difficult living alongside a human family that is still relatively unconscious.

But at this point in our transformation, it’s important to be aware of our responses and reactions to things, people, or events outside our self. Not to focus so much on the outside stuff.

When we do put our focus ‘out there’, we miss yet another opportunity to clear whatever might be stopping us from feeling that ultimate Bliss and freedom that we can only experience once we cross the threshold from being human to being our divine and human selves.

It seems of late I have been challenged in many areas that I listed above. I know it’s my soul coming in and doing a final sweep for me of those areas that I was still keeping in shadow.

It’s been very uncomfortable on an emotional level especially for me. Facing so many ancient emotions that aren’t even who I am to begin with. Emotions such as fear, anxiety, guilt and shame.

But like many of you, I wanted this to be the lifetime of change for myself.  I wanted this one to be the one where I embody my Christ consciousness while staying here on the planet.

What should have taken several more lifetimes is taking just this one.  That’s a whole heap of transforming.  It has pushed many of us to the limits of our endurance at times.

The concept of surrendering to our soul, to just allowing it to do the work for us, sounds great.  But for me, and I’m guessing for others it’s been put to the test.

The human has felt the doubt, the terror, the sadness, and the hopelessness more acutely than ever before.

Sometimes it feels like one is being pulverized.  Not unlike the caterpillar in the cocoon just before it emerges as the butterfly.

And that’s another thing we can feel, is….we’re ok with the caterpillar to butterfly concept, but when for gods sake?

Have I been genetically screwed?  Am I going to be in this cocoon for such a long time that by the time I emerge Starbucks coffee will be $25.00 a shot?

Or the U.S. Supreme Court will finally have moved out of the 1950s?  Along with Alabama.  Well, that wouldn’t be so bad.

But the point is, I get that we are moving as fast as our body and mind can handle, and our soul is being careful to integrate us accordingly…..but it tends to create doubt and a sense of hopelessness at times.

But that’s ok too.  I’m getting that our mastery is all about working with these emotions that emerge.  That’s where the alchemy resides.

And when I say we are working with the emotions, it’s really the soul that’s doing the work, but we as the human are allowing them when they surface, no matter how intense.  Not running from them.  And also not engaging with them.

Not making them our truth.

Because they are not who we are.  And in our heart we know that.  

GUILT AND SHAME

art by George Redhawk

These emotions are insidious and they have been part of the human consciousness since the beginning.  They stem from us leaving the angelic realms and taking on human bodies.  I won’t go into detail since I have covered that in other posts.

But suffice it to say that these can’t come with us into our realization.  

They are often shrouded in anger or fear.  Just below the surface of anger there is the sense of guilt or shame.  

In my own life I have been experiencing those emotions especially in relations with men.  And, this is of course not personal but galactic in nature.  The masculine and feminine dilemma.  And, again I have covered this topic extensively in other posts.

But there is a dynamic that occurs when I am interacting with particular men in my life that has me feeling guilty if they become angry that I am not fulfilling their needs.

So, it has come up lately, and it’s designed to help me clear this from my energy.

It’s easy at this point to blame the man, but I realize that it’s not about trying to change or enlighten him as much as it is to be aware of my own response and reaction to his demands or neediness.

And this is where it’s easy to miss that opportunity.

It’s much easier to respond with anger and want the other to change their behavior or to just run from the relationship.  I have in the past only to find myself right back in it.

And this could apply to any relationship in our life that seems to recycle.  Whether it’s with the same person or a different one.

And it also applies to financial situations, or a health issues.

We may find ourselves dealing with all three.  And, again, it’s something we wanted to transcend in this lifetime.  So if it gets intense it’s by design.

And, really, all of the transforming and clearing is done on levels we as the human can’t or need not understand.

We are being called to just allow this process, and to trust in our soul to take care of it for us.  That takes a strong and courageous human.  And one that, along with their soul decided that they were up for the joy of the job.

art by George Redhawk