It’s often talked about fairly glibly as a good thing, but how do you go about living a balanced life?

A dear and wise friend, whom I respect deeply, recently called me a master of balance, which was very lovely to hear. She noticed that I always balanced the demands of intense professional work with “play” time just for myself. It reminded me of another conversation in which a fellow healer observed that I was better than any other therapist she knew at matching the healing and holding energy I give to others with attending to my own self-care.

It made me think about how I view and manage balance. For me, it’s a dynamic process in which I constantly check in with myself and make appropriate adjustments when I can feel I’m veering to excess in any direction. That “pay attention” message can come from my physical body if I’ve been driving it too hard or neglecting it, my psychology if I’m experiencing stress and anxiety, or my emotions if I feel heavy or uninspired.

Balance, then, is not something you achieve so much as something you live, because as you grow and evolve and as external factors shift, what your maintained balance a week or even five minutes ago might not be appropriate for this moment and situation. Imagine a tightrope walker on a high wire. As they move from one end of the wire to the other they don’t hold the same posture all the way; they adjust their body moment to moment to regain stability when they notice they’re losing it. Sometimes it’s a very slow and painful process. It’s the same for you on the walk of life; take a few steps, see the misalignment, adjust your course.

So, balance requires a deep self-knowledge and engaged self-awareness that is always feeding back to you where you sit on the balance scales. I call this intelligence the soul, and I have to make time to converse with it to develop a vibrant working/playing relationship. This personal responsibility and inner clarity, rather than any external information, is what guides me. In the Thoth Tarot, this is perfectly illustrated by the Adjustment card.

Notice that, rather like my tightrope walker image, the figure of Adjustment is balanced perfectly on an impossibly tiny point. You can vividly imagine the adapting and modifying that goes on just to keep steady in that position. That tiny point she’s balancing on is actually the tip of a sword, signifying a ruthless justice that will cut away anything that is unnecessary and that is not an expression of your authentic divine being. What she’s saying is that you must set appropriate limitations for yourself to avoid extremes of behaviour or action that disturb your inner equilibrium. If those extremes occur then you must be prepared to wield that sharp blade as soon as you recognise them.

In reality, this means sacrifice and letting of things you may well enjoy and want but that you know don’t contribute to inner balance. For example, I have the time to enjoy being part of theatre productions and going for long walks outside because my partner and I deliberately chose to let go of the “bigger and more is better” idea. We downsized to a small house, share a car, and buy as much as we can from charity shops and second-hand sales to minimise the amount we spend (and reduce waste by recycling). As a result we don’t need to earn as much to cover our outgoings, which means we don’t have to work as hard or long.

At the same time, choosing more free time does reduce the amount of money I can potentially earn as I love focusing on one to one appointment work. I consider my regular massage as essential, not a luxury, because it helps to keep my body healthy. That might sometimes mean a month where I don’t go out for dinner or to the cinema. They are sacrifices, in a way, but they’re worth it because of the sense of well-being they create for me. Do you see how it works? Every choice and decision I make has an effect on the reality of my experience. As the Merovingian in The Matrix would say, “Cause and effect my love. Cause and effect.” This is the true meaning of karma.

I love the fact that Adjustment is crowned by shapes that echo the costume of the comedic Harlequin – the amoral fool (the free Spirit/soul within) who plays and explores life with a childlike enthusiasm. It also warns you that your society, culture, family and friends may not understand the choices you make to follow your soul; they may well see them as folly and you as silly.

And that leads me on to the final, essential truth. Balance for me is not going to look the same as it does for you, because you’re a wholly unique expression of the divine. Only your soul can show you in which direction ultimate equilibrium and well-being lies. What you think, say, do, and choose is what forms your experience as it does mine. Your joyful dance through life will follow a very different choreography and that’s perfect; all that matters is that you learn and follow the steps.

I believe the Greeks understood this in the inscriptions they chose for the sacred precinct walls of the famed and wisest Oracle of the ancient world. They were “Know thyself” and “Nothing in excess”. A more modern writer T.S Elliot put it this way, “At the still point, there the dance is.”

Image: Tightrope walker by Wilhelm Simmler

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