Does The Pain Of Awakening Ever End?
- Details
- Written by Aniel Lia Love
- Views: 166

You need chaos in your soul to give
birth to a dancing star.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Many of us seem to be zooming in our evolutionary trajectory, and yet we are still experiencing emotional issues and feelings of fear, inadequacy and gut-level confusion. In this process of awakening, we arrive at certain points where it seems we are perched on a razor’s edge of ‘knowing’ and ‘not knowing.’
This knowing and not knowing simultaneously, and the space between the two, is the thing that is keeping us confused and unbalanced. It is like being in a bardo - the Tibetan word for the space within a space, the space between breaths, the intermediate space.
We hang there, suspended in limbo with a big question mark, an unease at being somewhere so different and new that there is a natural instinct to just freeze, to check it out slowly and stealthily before taking the next breath, the next step.
And the next thing to do, to be and to feel, is not obvious. Not at all.
Turbo-Charged Changes
If you blink, you may miss it.
Our very base understandings of what religion and spirituality mean are not applying anymore and quickly eroding. Our base understanding of our Selves and how we once functioned in the outer and the inner are crippled and dying.
And there are other biggies that are crumbling without us knowing they are crumbling until we — unexpectedly — realize we somehow feel oddly different about something that we may have originally etched in stone.
The pace is so quick now that we wonder how we got from Point A to Point B. What happened to the time in between the two? Was there any time or was I just all of a sudden there?
While we are in amazement with that wonder, we are quite abruptly jolted into yet another different place without fully integrating our last point of reference. It is very, very slippery these days, with absolutely nothing to hang on to.
The other pieces to this puzzle are the raw emotions that seem to be springing up out of nowhere. Our soul’s centers are opened and receiving. They have been receiving for quite some time, in voluminous amounts, information we need as souls.
And we wonder, since we are so open in that way, why are we still having pain? Haven’t we moved beyond that? Shouldn’t we be free of the pain of illusion?
The short answer is No, and it is perfectly in line with jumping forward. In fact, the more we progress, the more we are inclined to expose what is unaligned with Who We Really Are — and that is the stuff that doesn’t feel good.
As more of our stuff is exposed and healed, more space is available for our Authentic Self to integrate within our present form: and this a double-edged blade.
Our Authentic presence drives out - unmercifully - our remaining shadows and all that comes with it. So the more our Authentic Self integrates, the more we will feel the effects of the sacred work of exposing the shadow and, thus, the pain.
Can We Ignore It?
I have tried to gloss over, jump over, ignore, suppress and repress my unhealed stuff — my shadows. According to some teachings, if we stay in the moment, grateful for everything in it, and smile and be happy, our stuff will not bother us and leave us alone.
There is truth in the practicing of moment-to-moment living and being in joy, but that does not remedy our shadows. We can, if we choose, tamp them down for lifetimes, but at some point they have to be allowed.
When we choose to let it rip, our Authentic Self will orchestrate every known trick in the book to give face to our shadows, to allow them to come up for air and breathe so that we can love them and finally say farewell to the pain they have been holding for us.
We can especially feel it at times in our gut and below the gut. The healing fire of the Authentic Self continues to go deeper and deeper into our very cells, into our connection with Mother and our combined wounds, our parallel lives, family timelines and assorted overlays of collective consciousness.
There is so much, and it is all good.
Does It End?
From my limited perspective, it seems that it doesn’t end until we leave this duality octave. I feel, though, we may get to a point of nearly collapsing duality while still in the human body and finally manifesting beauty in total freedom.
That is the dream.
I believe that if we are to fully embody that which We Really Are, we need to totally leave this experience and begin creating our own worlds and galaxies, literally. We are ever-expanding Beings, and there is no end in sight to what we will become and do.
My little pea brain cannot even begin to comprehend what that may look like! It is all a guess. But in the meantime, we have designed a rich, bountiful horn of plenty that provides all that we need to have an exciting, and sometimes terrifying, life in duality consciousness
Aniel Lia Love
© 09.04.2011
All Rights Reserved. Do NOT Copy.
All articles by Aniel Lia Love on CrystalWind.ca are published with written consent and submitted via email by the author. They are protected by copyright and are republished on CrystalWind.ca. Reproduction, copying, or sharing on other sites or platforms is prohibited. Unauthorized use or distribution is not permitted.
The original article is copyrighted by the author listed above. Posted on CrystalWind.ca ©2024. All rights reserved. Reproduction of this content is prohibited without written permission.
Latest Articles
Dive into the Mystical World of the Crystal Wind Oracle Deck!
Get All the Enchanting Details Now!
NEW Expanded Boxed Edition!
Now with 58 Cards for Richer Wisdom!
Imagine a world of inspiration and healing, free for all—made possible by YOU!
Donate Now—Ignite the Magic at CrystalWind.ca!
Epilepsy - Finding A Cure
Your donation can make a difference!
Help us find a cure – donate now!
Aniel Lia Love
Unlock Your Light: Join Lightworkers Worldwide on CrystalWind.ca!
Follow Us!
Who is Online Now
We have 59251 guests and no members online
Featured This Month
Bright Beltane Blessings!
The wheel turns to Beltane, also known as Mayday, marking the beginning of S... Read more
Aries Mythology: Discover the Secrets
The Mythology of Aries When we dive into the mythology of Aries, we need to... Read more
The Time of No Time: Beltane!
Around the medicine wheel of life we go, from season to season (solstice to ... Read more
Birth Totem Falcon: Are You a Natural Leader…
Birth Totem Falcon Birth dates: March 21 – April 19 Birth Totem is: Falcon... Read more
Eudialyte: Your Aries Power Stone Revealed!
Eudialyte Birthstone: Aries Planet: Mars Element: Fire Chakra: Heart Eud... Read more
Budding Trees Moon: Medicine Wheel Insights!
Red Hawk - Fire Opal - Dandelion - Yellow March 21 – April 19 The Budding Tr... Read more
Dandelion: The Surprising Power of this Medi…
Reminds you of the abundance life holds. Gender: Masculine Planet: Jupiter E... Read more
Sun in Aries: Unleash Your Power!
Aries March 21 through April 20 An Overview of Sun Sign Characteristics for A... Read more
Green Aventurine
The Emotional Balancer Stone Green Aventurine is perhaps the best balancing... Read more
The Crystal Wind Oracle Card Deck
The Crystal Wind Oracle™ The Crystal Wind Oracle Myth & Magic Card D... Read more