It is said that all spiritual progress is the result of “Fire By Friction.” While we all like our pleasant interactions, we also encounter friction, often arising from circumstances without us doing or saying anything. Why do certain encounters generate more friction than others?

While relative harmony and friction can be seen in the placements of our planets in another’s chart, and theirs in ours, there is a tremendously powerful spiritual factor which determines how much friction there is. We all need to grow. We often must be challenged by people and circumstances so we can refine our responses to a more spiritually harmonized view.

Many of us have struggled with the fact that throughout our lives, though we may try to harmonize with others, some people just aren’t able to harmonize with us. These are situations where we came together with hope and optimism, but then because of whatever, the relationship just never did come together. While some of this can be seen in the planetary positions, other times it seems like a mystery why we didn’t click.

We see this in every family. Even though we share genetics and a similar family and cultural matrix, each family produces unique personalities making their choices. Certainly we don’t have the same charts, the same spiritual awareness, or the same responses to events which shape our personalities.

This is true for everyone we meet; we each have our own level of personality integration, we each have our own desires, whether healthy or unhealthy, and each has their own limitations due to the subconscious mind’s programming from the family and cultural matrix. Obviously we all want harmonious relationships with our neighbors and co-workers, but each is bound by their own limitations. This is why we will never be accepted by some people. If their path is contrary to ours, it is difficult to find common ground.

It is normal to expect reasonably harmonious relations with others. That’s why we search for them. However, from a spiritual angle, we grow through the Cosmic force of Fire by Friction. In any dynamic relationship, there will always be some small level of friction to spur the relationship forward. It doesn’t have to be a difficult friction, which we have more control over than we think. Even the grind between us and another could polish the gemstone of the Soul in each of us.

As we move through both harmonious and difficult relationships, Fire by Friction will always move us to a more spiritual view of life’s interactions. The friction which lights up life’s truths for us is how personality is refined.

Over the years, I’ve observed that people with powerful spiritual planets near the angles of their chart are activators of that energy in others. It works without intention, and creates an energy others respond to according to their level of awareness. So it is possible that our Uranus could activate an awakening in others without either of us knowing what was going on. It’s easy to see that an invisible force activating an awakening in another might be misunderstood and become a source of conflict if the one who is awakening doesn’t have a spiritual practice.

Neptune dissolves and expands the sensitivity to the collective field. Pluto brings purification and experiences of “the underworld of existence,” whether past or present. An unintegrated personality often fears these things. If our energy is activating a transformation in another, things could get frictional in all kinds of unsuspected ways if they choose to respond from the lower ego rather than their Higher Self.

If our Saturn activates another and they haven’t dealt with fear or taking responsibility for their actions, they might become afraid of us or evasive, since that’s their lesson. We may not be doing anything except breathing, but if our presence precipitates a spiritual crisis in another, a) we cannot take it personally, and b) we must become the positive expression of the negative planetary energy they’re demonstrating.

If they are afraid, we must be clear, loving, and unafraid. If they are impatient, we must be patient and thoughtful. If they are touchy and defensive, we must be detached and positive. Our responses may or may not be received as we would like, but then our responses are not dependent on anyone else’s attitude or mood.

You can also apply this to many frictional encounters with people in your past. If the lessons stuck and activated a growth pattern in you, it was friction activating your spiritual potential by the person who rejected you, or attacked you, or refused you. All conflict serves a spiritual purpose in helping us choose wise responses despite the friction.

Because we ARE Love, we naturally radiate care to others we meet, hoping to find resonance. As we become a living Light in our world, some will respond with love and others will feel fear. How another perceives our love and care and responds to it is entirely up to them.

While we always have to own our part in any interaction, because of who we are and what we are to learn from and teach others, whether we want to or not, it’s really less about us and more about the energy we bring to each encounter. We are radiant Loving Wise Intelligences, each in our own way. As we express these qualities and remember we are all as surrounded by Love and Community as a fish by water, we will find our Community through both the friction and harmony of life.

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