What is the difference between true Law of Attraction masters and everyone else? I’ve spent a lot of time studying this question and putting it to the test. From my experience, I’d have to say it is in the choices we make in how we act. There are a number of common behaviors today that create unwanted things, and when we engage in them manifest unnecessary stress, anxiety and anger in our lives.

So, the next time you feel compelled to engage in one of these behaviors, take a quick “time out,” and take a broader perspective. Though any of these behaviors might feel natural or even soothing in the short-term, in the long-term they each cause a loss of personal power and a lowered vibration. They also attract negative and unwanted events in life, and this is why Law of Attraction masters avoid them.

1. Arguing/debating:

As a citizen of the United States I think this is especially important, because it is so very common in our country today. American culture is very assertive, and we love to debate. In fact, debating is actually celebrated on television, in our political races and even in our close relationships.

The problem with this is that when we debate and argue, we engage in black-and-white thinking. We argue only for one side of the coin, and we adopt the mentality that our way is the only “right” way. Then, whenever we are presented with something we’ve been debating against (like issues on gun control, abortion, or healthcare) we get upset and angry about it, which consequently lowers our vibrational energy.

For example, how many times have heard someone express a political opinion very different from your own? Do you ever feel good when you hear these opposing views, or instead do they cause a bit of frustration or anger? I’ve yet to see two people with opposing political views engaged in a loving and compassionate debate about their political differences, but maybe this is just my experience…

However, beyond lowering our vibrations, debate also causes us to focus on what we don’t want. As any student of the Law of Attraction will tell you, focusing on what we don’t want is precisely what causes us to manifest the things we don’t wan’t.

So instead of debating and arguing, it’s wise to remember that each of us is infinitely different and has our unique perspective. What works for one person beautifully, doesn’t work at all for another. Life isn’t black and white, rather it’s made up of infinite shades of gray.

Learning to accept the fact that some people think, feel and act differently than we do is a valuable lesson that many Law of Attraction masters learn early on. When we accept others’ differences, rather than chastise them, we act from a place of unconditional love. As a result, we invite more unconditional love and acceptance into our own lives with the Law of Attraction. At the same time, we avoid focusing our attention on the things we don’t want, and this prevents us from attracting unwanted realities.

2. Keeping Up With the Joneses:

Competition is another common behavior that can strip people of their power. “Keeping up with the Joneses” is a common competitive phenomenon that creates more problems than good. While many of us already know this to be true, this behavior’s connection to the Law of Attraction is less well-known.

When we attempt to compete with others, two things happen that create unwanted realities. The first is that we forget what’s really important to us. When we compete with other people in this manner, we are inevitably trying to “beat” them at their own game.

While we may “win” sometimes, in the long-term we always lose. Why? Because we each have our own unique talents, skills, likes and dislikes. In order to win at life we must go after what is truly important to ourselves, and only ourselves!

Another reason we lose is because we can only truly focus on one thing at a time, so by trying to compete with someone else through their skills, talents, preferences and dreams, we simultaneously avoid focusing on our own. Instead of building our lives to be exactly as we want them to be, we build them in the image of someone else. Our purchases, our hobbies, our jobs and even our relationships can become disingenuous to who we really are.

The other unfortunate thing that happens when we compete with others is that we start to view other people’s successes in a negative light. Instead of being happy for a friend’s new relationship or a coworker’s big promotion, we find ourselves secretly seething.

This causes big trouble with the Law of Attraction.

If we are constantly getting upset over other people’s successes, we are actually projecting feelings of failure. As a result, we will attract more scenarios where the people around us are attracting more successes than we are.

If instead, we start to view other peoples’ successes as our own successes, and get excited and happy for others, we will draw more success into our own lives. When we are happy for the achievements of others, we project pure, positive energy on the subject of success, making us a better vibrational match to success in our own lives. Law of Attraction masters know that this is important, because good feelings always attract the things they want, while negative feelings always push them away.

3. People-Pleasing:

While the first two actions are easy to identify as negative behaviors, people-pleasing is often viewed a little differently. Ordinarily, people-pleasing is usually done with good intentions, and therefore some believe that people-pleasing is an honorable behavior. We want to keep the people around us happy, or we want to avoid an argument, so we choose behaviors we believe will make the people around us feel good, often at the expense of our own happiness.

However, there are couple of reasons why Law of Attraction masters avoid people-pleasing. First, when we people-please, we project a message to the universe that says: “I believe I have to act a certain way in order to be loved.” This prevents us from receiving unconditional love from others, and causes us to attract relationships that require a great deal of work from us, and are often strained or stressful.

Additionally, people-pleasing sends another message to the universe that says: “my needs and happiness come second.” This is problematic because, at the end of the day, each of us is number one in our own lives, and therefore our happiness is our responsibility.

When we put our needs first, we go after what we want in life, and we attend to the things that are important to us. This generates more happiness in our lives along with a higher vibration. When we put our needs second, we let a lot of what we want in life slip away, simply because our attention has been focused on someone else’s wants and needs.

As Jim Rohn once famously said:

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”

Remember, each person you meet is the number one in his or her own life. Therefore, everyone you meet has the ability to create their own lives exactly as they want them to be, and they are perfectly capable of doing this without your assistance.

Now, I can already hear some parents and caretakers bristling over this point, but please hear me out. Do we want to care for our children and the people we love, and help them the best we can? Absolutely we do! However, can we really help other people when we have sacrificed our happiness for them? Are we good parents and caretakers when we are miserable?

The thing is, we can still help the people we care about without people-pleasing! In fact, to be the biggest help, we must put our own needs first.

Someone who has self-respect, takes care of himself or herself and is enjoying life will make a far greater impact on the lives of others than someone who has sacrificed his or her needs and happiness in an effort to make other people happy.

So be your own number one, follow your instincts and act in your own best interests.

The other thing to consider here is that trying to make someone else happy is actually an impossible feat. When we identify that someone else is stressed, anxious or angry and we try to people-please them out of it, we are actually drawing more focus to the stress, anxiety or anger. Then, we create a relationship where the other person gets stressed, anxious or angry more frequently.

You’ve probably seen this phenomenon at play before. It’s the primary reason why abusive relationships often stay in an a cycle of abuse, and the abuse usually worsens with time.

In a person’s attempt to walk on eggshells around his or her partner, he or she actually draws more attention to the abuse. Instead of putting his or her needs first and drawing focus to what he or she wants out of life, tiptoeing around abuse only creates more dysfunction as time goes on, because the entire relationship begins to center around avoiding abuse.

Again, we always get what we focus on, whether we are trying to gain it or avoid it.

(Please note: This isn’t said to condone abuse or to blame the victim, but rather it’s said to empower people who find themselves in abusive situations. As someone who has had first-hand experience with overcoming abuse, trust that I understand this dynamic well and that my advice is both sincere and trustworthy.)

People-pleasing only makes things worse. The only way to help yourself and the people you care about is through raising your own vibration, finding your own happiness and putting your own needs (and safety!) first.

So, if you are working toward becoming a conscious Law of Attraction master, be aware of these three behaviors and the role they play within your life.

While none of us is perfect, and we are allowed to slip up once in awhile, we certainly can make it our habit to engage in positive behaviors. We have the option to choose to debate, compete and people-please on a regular basis, or we can more frequently choose to accept other people’s differences, celebrate their successes and put ourselves first!

Law of Attraction masters are people who choose positive behaviors, and consequently they have more successes, happier relationships and they attract more of the things they want in life. Use this information to your advantage, and create your reality as you want it to be!

Thanks for reading,

Andrea