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Audrey Hepburn’s Wisdom: Embracing Inner Beauty with Kindness and Poise
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- Written by David R. Hamilton PhD
I was recently reminded of a quote by Audrey Hepburn.
It’s one of my favourite quotes. It captures that timeless truth that beauty is within. Here it is:
“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others.
For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness.
And for poise, walk in the knowledge that you are never alone.”
She was best known as an actress, but she was also a humanitarian. She frequently spoke about the plight of the mothers and children she encountered in her humanitarian work, and her experience in this work shaped much of her attitude and focus in later life.
Here’s my take on her words and the wisdom behind them, and a few suggestions on how to build them into our lives.
Beautiful Eyes: Seeing the Good in Others
When Audrey Hepburn speaks of beautiful eyes, she’s speaking about seeing beyond the surface – eyes that recognise the inherent worth in every person, that recognise the good in each of us, the individuality, the humanity. Beautiful eyes, in this sense, are those that see the person underneath the personas we wear.
And just like watering a plant helps it grow, focusing on the good in others helps bring it out in them.
It’s not always easy, granted. The behaviour of some people would test even a saint.
When it’s challenging to look for the good in others, it can be helpful to reach for the idea that you never know what someone is dealing with, or has gone through, that is shaping who they are being now. It might not always change the situation, but it might change how you feel about it, or how you feel about the person.
It’s not always possible, because it depends on the situation. We can only do our best.
And seeing with kind eyes benefits you too. Focusing on the positive traits and actions of those around us supports our mental health, benefits the heart, and it cultivates empathy and understanding.
The latter not only enhances our relationships, but also brings more joy and fulfilment to our daily interactions.
In essence, the good we see in others fills our own lives.
Beautiful Lips: The Power of Kind Words
Words hold immense power—they can build up or tear down, soothe or sting, heal or hurt. Hepburn’s call to “speak only words of kindness” in an invitation to use our words for good: to build, soothe, or heal.
A few well-chosen kind words can raise a smile on a bad day, help mend a broken heart, even bring a little warmth and light when life feels damp and cloudy. They can even change someone’s life.
Supporting and encouraging others also lifts ourselves. You give from the capacity that you have within you. And as you give, that capacity expands in you.
Kind words help us build a society of kindness and respect and help make the world feel smaller.
Poise: The Strength in Knowing You Are Never Alone
Poise is often associated with grace under pressure and confident composure. Hepburn’s insight that true poise comes from “the knowledge that you are never alone” speaks to a deeper sense of inner strength.
Whether through the support of loved ones, faith in the presence of a higher power, or even the interconnectedness of humanity, recognizing that we are not isolated in our struggles can provide comfort and courage.
This can help us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and dignity, knowing we have a network of support to rely on.
Living the Wisdom
Applying Hepburn’s words to our lives requires some mindfulness and intentionality. It involves making a conscious effort to see the best in others, even when it’s difficult, to choose our words carefully, and to remember the support systems that surround us.
But these practices, seemingly simple as they are, can shape our lives for the better, and also add warmth and support to the lives of those we interact with.
Here’s a few simple tips to get going.
- Practice Gratitude
Take time each day to reflect on the positive attributes of the people in your life. This habit can make you feel warm inside and more connected to the people around you.
- Mind Your Words
Before speaking, consider whether your words are kind, necessary, and true. Strive to offer encouragement and praise more often.
- Connect with Others
Reach out to friends, family, or community groups. Building and maintaining these connections reinforces the sense of not being alone.
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