A House Rich in Memories Instead of Things

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Monday, 07 October 2024

A House Rich in Memories Instead of Things

Yesterday, I visited my Mother’s house for the first time since she passed. It was a bittersweet gathering with my six siblings, and as hard as it was to be in our family home without our Mom, it was a blessing to be together.

On the drive there, I was a little anxious about the meeting. It’s a tricky thing for seven adults to navigate a painful loss at the same time. After all, people grieve in different ways, and when in a tender state, they often have conflicting needs. But we found our way. That’s because our Mother instilled in us the belief that family was important and we needed to stick together.

A House Rich in Memories Instead of Stuff

Whenever we disagreed, my Mother gently (and sometimes not so gently) steered the one who wandered off back to the litter like a protective Mama cat. While we’d undoubtedly have disagreements throughout our lives, she’d remind us to always find a way back to each other.

I had no idea how much I’d appreciate this wisdom after she – the final parent – was gone.

My Mother gave our family another gift—a house pared down to the essentials. I was shocked to discover that her basement was emptied except for a couple of bins of holiday decorations. Her closets had clothes, but not too many, and some drawers in her bathroom and bedroom were empty. She often said she refused to leave a mess for her kids, and she made good on her promise.

When we gather again in a couple of weeks to begin the process of dismantling the house (ugh, just typing that phrase breaks my heart), I’ll be sad but grateful. I’ll appreciate having the emotional space to grieve without feeling overwhelmed by the task at hand. I’ll value the chance to reminisce with my sisters over the things our Mother chose to keep because they mattered to her. And I’ll do my best to remember her gift so I stay inspired to choose simplicity over too much stuff.

Thanks to my Mother, when my time comes, I’ll leave a house filled with memories, not things.

Love,

Cheryl

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Cheryl Richardson
For the last twenty-five years I’ve dedicated my life to the practice of self-care because it’s good for people and it’s good for the planet. From personal experience, as well as coaching a diverse group of clients, I’ve come to understand that when we care deeply for ourselves, we naturally begin to care for others – our families, our friends, the environment, and the whole world – in a healthier and more effective way.