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Is Your True Self Vanishing?
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- Written by Vidya Frazier
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Are You Losing Your Identity?
Have you been feeling strangely empty lately, like some essential sense of who you are is slipping away?
Maybe roles you used to play in life are no longer so important to you. Old interests and passions are no longer so compelling. And spiritual practices that used to bring so much joy are no longer working.
Perhaps you can vaguely remember who you used to be – what you enjoyed doing and the people you hung out with – but that now feels like a whole different person you’re remembering. Yeah, you’re older, so you’re different – but still. You know this isn’t just age and time going by. It’s something else. Your whole familiar sense of self is somehow dramatically shifting.
In fact, it’s a sensation of losing the very sense of identity, itself. And it can be strange and rather scary at times.
It’s Happened Before
It can be helpful if you’ve already experienced something that feels like a loss of identity at other times in your life.
Maybe after retirement, or a serious illness, or the loss of an important relationship or job, you stumbled through life for a while, wondering who you were anymore, without a certain important role or relationship to define yourself by.
If you dropped into introspection after that, perhaps you learned some things about yourself you could work on to get past anxiety, self-doubt and shame. And you realized that, as time goes on for anyone, their sense of identity just naturally changes, anyway. It’s to be expected. Aging alone certainly does this.
And maybe you then found another role you were in that felt like an important identity — like the one as grandmother, or caregiver to your aging parents. Or some other kind of role you created for yourself.
Developing a More Spiritual Identity
On the other hand, you might have eventually come up with a whole new identity beyond those purely human definitions – one that was more steeped in a spiritual view of yourself.
Perhaps you began focusing more on your identity as a lightworker, a spiritual warrior, a starseed, or a frequency holder.
You became more aware of what your spiritual mission was. Maybe you even began practicing as a healer of some sort, or as an energy worker, or a shaman or life coach.
All of these, of course, are wonderful kinds of identities. They certainly feel good. What you’re doing is important and valuable. And your work is much-needed in the world.
However, after a while, if you’ve made this kind of identity shift, you may eventually realize that even this new identity doesn’t quite feel right. Even though it’s more “spiritual”, you are still bound to suffer with it.
All it takes is someone indicating that you’re somehow failing in this role. Or you, yourself, see that what you’re doing in your role is somehow not that valuable. And you get caught by the inner critic voice, constantly telling you you should do better; you need to keep improving and fixing yourself. So your sense of identity is still kind of shaky.
A Deepening Loss of Identity
And, in addition, you may also be realizing that those spiritual labels no longer feel like they even have much substance anymore, anyway.
They’ve lost their meaning they once had for you. You’re seeing that even this kind of spiritual sense of yourself is now somehow not very real or solid. In fact, you can’t even meditate anymore like you used to. And other spiritual practices, if you can even do them, offer little inspiration.
And, when you’re really honest with yourself – and you’re not busy distracting yourself in some way – you realize there’s a frightening new feeling of emptiness inside.
You no longer know who you are.
The Emptiness is a Step in the Ascension Process
As awful as this sensation of emptiness and self-questioning may be, it’s important to realize that this very state is a positive step in your ascension process. You are right on track. It needs to happen.
The leap from 3D to 5D is not a simple jump into a feeling of being more awake and happy and free. It is gigantic.
It’s a leap into an entirely different reality that operates at a much higher frequency and has unfamiliar principles which dictate how things work. It requires a radical transformation out of all limited 3D ideas of who you are.
And therefore, to make this leap, you need to fully let go of the whole sense of identity you’ve experienced as a human being living in 3D. You must even let go of the mental notion of being a “spirit temporarily in the form of a human being”. This has been a valuable mental concept to hold while in 3D, but the reality of what living in 5D truly means is generally beyond what your mind can imagine.
Shifting into 5D Consciousness
In fact, in order to shift from third-dimensional to fifth-dimensional consciousness, it is necessary to drop all sense of who you think you are, period.
It actually entails getting out of your mind altogether and leaving all ideas – even spiritual ones – behind.
It’s necessary, instead, to have the courage to fall directly into the emptiness itself and discover what is actually there.
In doing this, what you may discover is that this sense of empty nothingness is actually a portal into the true essence of what you are – a luminous field of cosmic Light, Love, Joy, Freedom…and even deeper experiences that have no description in words.
And you realize that your body/mind self is something that resides within this light-filled field that you are — not the other way around. This smaller, denser self is something that is real, yes. And as this form, you experience a sense of identity – and, at times, a great deal of joy.
But it is both limited and temporary.
And so, if you’re wise, you won’t get stuck in this sense of yourself. You won’t hold onto any particular identity you find yourself in. You’ll allow your identity to be fluid, temporary, ever-changing. And keep remembering that it’s not really who you are, at your core.
In doing this, you’ll be free to more consistently experience yourself as the field of glorious Light in which you can soar through the heavens – while, at the same time, you continue to carry on your practical life, grounded securely in the Earth as it continues its journey into 5D.
In doing this, you’ll realize you are becoming free of the irritating inner critic voice – and you’re actually liberated from the constant thinking of the mind, period.
Instead, there’s a profound silence inside…a peace beyond belief…a relaxation that you’ve never experienced before. And all need to prove your value or your importance has vanished.
Loss of Identity is a Necessary Step
So, if you’re beginning to experience any of the aspects of identity loss described here, you can realize you’re moving in the right direction.
It’s a necessary step in your ascension journey. It’s scary, but also an exciting adventure.
Perhaps, rather than focusing on what you are losing, you can focus on questions like: Who are you becoming? What new lands are you about to discover and explore, leaving your old sense of identity behind?
And: Who else is there with you, living in this new unexplored experience of no-identity?
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