Enlightenment.  It’s hard.  It tears your life apart.  Most of the Ascended Masters of the past left this planet pretty soon after their enlightenment.  Sticking around wasn’t a real option because they hadn’t prepared themselves or their bodies to make it practical.  Those of us who have decided to stay are going through Embodied enlightenment.  And, it’s also no picnic.

It’s easier to remain unconscious.  Lack of awareness has its perks for sure.

This process is not easy, but, the fact that it’s fraught with discomfort at a level most humans haven’t felt doesn’t mean enlightenment is a reward for all the hardship.  It doesn’t mean we have earned it because of that discomfort.  In enlightenment there is no hierarchy, of asleep to awake.  There is no ladder to climb.

It just feels that way.

Everyone is born worthy of enlightenment.  The struggle and pain, emotionally and physically, is the resistance, which all humans have.  When we gave permission for spirit to be in our body and our life, the process involved releasing the resistance to that spirit.

And it’s also spirit, soul learning how to come in so close and personal with its human counterpart.

Those of us in the forefront of this transformation are creating a template for those who follow, and it will be easier for them because of what we are doing.  The first ones going through it are the hardest hit, as always.

And, ironically, releasing the old patterns, which come primarily from the mind, and also from the physical body itself, can be easier if we relax more and try less.  Or, don’t try at all.

The biggest challenge in this awakening, and becoming conscious creators is allowing our mind to relax.  The mind has been the control center of our lives for millenia, and it’s not going to give in so easily, stepping back and allowing the other part of who we are to take the wheel.

I grew up in an era of the self-help culture that was sweeping the free world.  Books like Think and Grow Rich, The Power of  Positive Thinking, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and even in the new age, spiritual community there was the idea that the mind was in charge.  That the mind could be de-programmed, and that we could tap into the subconscious part of our mind to radically change our experience.

There were spiritual gurus out the ying-yang, and mega bucks to be made from those who bought into it.

For some of us, a few of those books and workshops were stepping stones to our awakening.

I remember reading a book by Norman Vincent Peale that may have begun my own awakening, The Power of Positive Thinking.  It was a good start, but it wasn’t until later in life I connected with authors who understood the soul as part of our being.

In the 1980s I took Anthony Robbins’ fire-walk workshop, Fear into Power.  It was exciting, but it still didn’t answer the call for me.  It was still limited to mind over matter.  It focuses on achieving things in life, becoming healthier, or richer, or other things we thought would fulfill us as just the human.

Those of us who are here now, who are ascending and becoming more crystalline, wanted something more.  We didn’t want to just be a bigger, brighter, greener caterpillar.  We wanted to become the butterfly.

Or, to awaken to our butterfly consciousness.  A consciousness of freedom.  It’s not so much a becoming as an unfolding.

And, that is why this is so challenging.  The mind, bless it, sees this process as a step by step, hierarchical process.  Like climbing a ladder.  Even the word ascension implies moving upward.  But it actually is more a surrender.  A letting go.  A going within.

It’s not about proving worthiness, or being a better human.  In fact, it’s kind of the opposite.  It’s allowing the human to be just as it is….confused, filled with doubt, angry, sad, wounded, and needing to be in control.

And, in that acceptance, and in that relinquishing control to its counterpart, the soul, those issues resolve themselves.  At least to the point where we can be here in a radically different relationship with ourselves and with life, than we have ever experienced.

But we got tripped up when we were ‘trying’ to relax, and trying to relinquish control of the mind.  We kept our soul at a distance for such a long time, that we thought we had to do this enlightenment thing all by ourselves, as just the human.

But it’s impossible.  Without our soul, it can’t be done,  so, it feels like a delicate balance of allowing ourself to just be what we are, a limited human, and an eternal self that is free, and limitless.

And when it feels chaotic and confusing, that is the perfect time to take a deep breath, and take a walk, a bath, a drink, and not wrestle with it mentally.  That is the time to relinquish control.

Yes, the mind is relinquishing control, and it’s a bittersweet proposition.

ERGO, I GO

Its identity relied on that control, and rightly so.  There is nothing wrong with ego, since ego is what made it possible for us to be here in the first place.  Ego means I go.  I go and explore physical worlds.

Without the benefit of the soul’s presence, the human personality did its best to navigate this Terrain called planet earth, and to provide for us.  And it’s done a really good job, considering.  It’s kept us safe, given us a place to live, food on our table, some of us raised wonderful children, had careers, husbands, wives, and it gave us a modicum of joy.

But now, we get to experience what it’s like to have our soul here with us in the most intimate way.  And that requires the human personality to let go of its controls to a degree it is not used to.  It needs to let go in order for this to work.

It requires a radical shift on our part.

It doesn’t mean we lose our personality.  Or our ego.  But those parts of us are required to relax more and let our soul navigate for us.  And whatever resistance we still have to that end will come up and be released.

The resistance can come in the form of old beliefs about right and wrong, about being selfish, about guilt, obligation.  The resistance to self-love is essentially the hardest to let go of.

But we can’t release those parts by trying and pushing and thinking about it.  Then we are going back to our power of positive thinking gurus.  Trying to change our minds by using our mind to do it.

That keeps us stuck in the vicious circle we have been in for millienia.

Sometimes I wonder, why would something so free, and limitless as my soul even want to be here with me in this god-forsaken reality?

Doesn’t it have better things to do?

But that’s the times I am feeling the most disconnected from my soul.  When I do feel connected, when I feel my soul’s presence, that question is answered.

THERE IS NEVER A CROWD ON THE LEADING EDGE

Abraham of Abraham-Hicks said that there is never a crowd on the leading edge.  There are very, very few humans who choose enlightenment.  So, it’s understandable that we question ourselves and wonder if we are doing something wrong, especially when we see some spiritual leaders out there will massive followings.

They are doing important work and are reaching those who are at a certain stage of their own awakening.  But, the numbers of humans who are at the forefront of consciousness is miniscule compared to the planet’s population at this time.

There is also a purpose to this process being slow.  Imagine if you had this much light ten years ago, or even five years ago.  Remember, light disrupts old systems.  With the amount of resistance you had back then, you could have burned out entirely.

Remember, light becomes energy and more energy directed at issues magnifies those very issues.  Energy can be in the form of more consciousness, more awareness, money, attention, status, and power.  We see what happens when certain people with pre-existing issues are given more money and power.  They self-destruct.

So, any self-doubt or fears will be magnified and could result in life getting even more chaotic.  So this process is a benevolent one, even if it feels like a fiery dragon at times.  Or like it’s going at a snail’s pace.

So the hard part of this awakening is the resistance, and the releasing of that resistance.  The bigger the desire, the bigger the resistance.  And what bigger desire could there be than wanting to know who we really are?  To merge with our own I AM?