Although many of us have been isolated from family, friends, and the ability to socialize for over a year, now that the opportunities to venture out beyond our four walls or garden is available, there is a strange reluctance to do so. Many of my clients have said it’s been difficult for them to stay home (often alone) for extended periods of time, and yet now they don’t understand why they find the thought of going out and mixing with people unappealing and stressful. They’re more likely to not bother and just stay right where they are. I drew The Hanged Man Tarot card as a four week guidance card for a group I teach in yesterday, and it reminded me of this pattern I’d been noticing in myself and others.

I too, although really pleased to be able to see family and meet with friends, have felt the desire to take things slowly and to break myself in gently to being a social animal again. In the same way, I’ve observed with interest how over this last year my production of articles and videos really slowed down, having before that been routine and regular in the posting of both. Where I live in Wales, we came out of lockdown in April, yet here we are in June and I haven’t picked up that old pattern. I’m just not feeling to. And perhaps that word “old” is the key to why.

When I look at The Hanged Man, they really do remind me of a chrysalis held in suspension, waiting for the process to be complete before emerging from their transformational pause as the newly beautiful, bright-winged butterfly. This card speaks about surrendering to divine will, letting go of ego control so the Higher Self can take the lead as you move into the next phase of your journey and development. Often, that means not rushing into things, or forcing things to happen because you just want the waiting and the stagnation to be over. It means patience, a willingness to delay action until you can see things clearly from a fresh perspective before making any definite decisions. (If you’re interested in finding out more about The Hanged Man and spiritual development you might like to read my article The soul journey through the Thoth Tarot cards: The Hanged Man.)

So my message to my clients, and to myself, is to honour the wisdom in that reluctance and to be gentle with yourself. Take your time re-integrating into society and the wider world, and don’t feel guilty for not wanting to get back out there and make up for lost months in a matter of days! The thing is, you and I have changed. We’ve been touched deeply by this worldwide experience in ways we may not yet fully appreciate or understand. So trying to just pick up from exactly where we left off in March 2020 doesn’t actually make any sense. A year is a long time, especially a year in which significant events have inevitably impacted all our lives.

You might want to ask yourself whether what you used to do as a matter of course, without questioning, is really what you want to do now? What is it time to let go of? How have your values, core beliefs and thought patterns shifted in recent months? Or do you feel a need to shift them now? What in your life needs to take on a different form if it’s going to satisfy your heart and soul?

What I recognised about myself is that when we went into lockdown I was still at the tail end of my menopausal transition. During the years leading up to this I’d wanted and needed a quieter life, less interaction with outside demands, and so I had more time to write and record videos. Doing so satisfied my drive to share wisdom and upliftment with others without placing too much demand on my personal energy, which was hypersensitive and more reactive than previously.

With escalating speed over the last year, for which I’m truly grateful, my client base has increased, and my work in one to one soul guidance, animal communication, and intuitive healing has taken centre stage in my day to day life. I feel ready for this expanded level of responsibility and giving to others in my work, and my vitality has bounced back to the level at which I can maintain the personal contact and energy exchange necessary to do it.

My butterfly now wants to flutter joyfully among the ripening buds of those souls that seek my help to blossom into their own transformational potential. If that means I continue to upload fewer videos and post less frequent articles for a while, then that’s fine with me. This is a substantial shift from the pre-COVID me who was much more protective of my “me time”.

So, my wonderful one, where does your inner butterfly want to exercise its new wings? If you don’t know yet, if you’re at all unsure, then just be patient, give yourself time to catch up with the person you are now or are still in the process of becoming. Allow yourself the space you need for inner exploration. Slowly but surely, in perfect timing, your soul will reveal to you what comes next on your unique path of divine expression, one step at a time. Then, maybe, you might feel ready for that celebratory party.

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