HI Lauralyn,

I wanted to know if you can speak and explain more about soulmates. I’ve had 3 or 4 readings with you and they pretty much all been on my relationship with my now ex-boyfriend of 2 months. We were together for almost 7 years. Anyway, in all my readings you told me that he had been my soulmate in past lives. So I’m confused what exactly a soul mate is. In this lifetime me and my ex are broken up and you said in a recent reading that most likely this relationship was over for good. So does that still make him my soulmate in this lifetime or not? We didn’t really end in the best of terms, as a matter of fact I found out today he is already dating…I’m just confused with us being soul mates before and broken up now. –Jenny

Hi Jenny,

The idea of soul mates has been largely created by writers and romantics who generally depict us each having just one soul mate and when we meet, it’s fireworks and Cinderella’s happily ever after. What I’ve learned personally, and working with you and the angels, is a much different story!

Here’s an example of my own experience. When I first met Ken and looked in his green eyes, I felt like I had known him before. His energy, his physical presence, his soul – everything felt familiar to me and from the start. We got on royally; talked for hours, laughed easily, went on adventures, we were instant best friends.

I consulted with well-known psychic Jeffrey Wands here on Long Island. He looked at us and said to me, “You’re lucky. He’s your soul mate, not your cell mate.” I happily moved forward, marrying him and entering what would be a bittersweet union. When it ended in divorce, us both marrying other people, I asked the angels, why did you say he was my soul mate? Clearly, we’re not! The angels said he was my soul mate. Just because it didn’t end with us together, like a classic soul mate story, didn’t mean we still weren’t soul mates. The ego’s idea of a soul mate and our soul’s reality of a soul mate are very different.

The Angels Clarify The Soul Mate Experience

• Soul Mates are the same as kindred spirits. Though we often use the term kindred spirits for platonic friendships, and soul mates reserved for intimate relationships.

• Our Creator creates Soul Mates for us to feel spiritually connected to Divine love while we are on Earth.

• Soul Mates are our earthly companions who keep us company and help us evolve. Helping us evolve doesn’t mean we always get what we want from them, but we do get what our soul needs to consciously, spiritually evolve. The angels say we are each a Spiritual Master here. Earth is our school, and we are learning to master the art of Divine Love. This is what we are evolving toward, higher frequencies of existence, creating a Heaven on Earth. What a challenge, right!?

• Soul Mates are created with a very similar spiritual DNA as us, and may feel like instant family, even when you first meet.

• Soul Mates are often learning similar spiritual lessons with us, and may share similarities in childhood, career, values, personality, personal challenges, karma. Soul Mates have often experienced similar hardships that influence their present beliefs and behavior, for better or worse. Though the details of the hardships may differ, the end emotional result is similar.

• There isn’t just one Soul Mate assigned to each of us, there are many, we live in an abundant Universe! You may find some people you meet are more kindred spirits than Soul Mates, the physical chemistry is not there. But the spiritual chemistry is, and everything else may feel right except for the person feeling more a sibling than lover. That’s because they share your spiritual DNA but aren’t meant to be an intimate partner in this lifetime. Sometimes, the physical chemistry will be off the charts with a Soul Mate, but there will be deal breaking obstacles that make it clear, despite the crazy attraction, it logically won’t work no matter how hard you try and force it. In both these cases, the purpose of Soul Mates coming together isn’t to conceive the happily ever after, it is to learn valuable spiritual lessons and often times balance karma, too.

• Soul Mates are always meant to strengthen our spirit in some way. Sometimes this is done through love, and sometimes through pain. The angels say whether learning comes from love or pain depends on the state of ego, suffering and spiritual connection when the Soul Mates are together. More of ego’s unhealed wounds and a spiritual disconnection with one of the Soul Mates will often equate in more pain to encourage growing out of patterns no longer serving. When there is more love consciousness and less ego pain, Soul Mate relationships will end as amicably as humanly possible. When Soul Mates are destined to stay together and work through challenges, they become very strong people, able to overcome anything that comes their way.

• Soul Mates almost always incarnate together in the same lifetime, though there may be lifetimes where your paths don’t cross and sometimes these are sad lifetimes except in cases when people don’t want the responsibility of a romantic relationship and enjoy learning here through more solitude, friendships, family or dedication to spiritual study.

A famous soul who chose dedication to her Life’s Purpose over a Soul Mate was Queen Elizabeth, child of King Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn. Though she did have one of her Soul Mates with her in that lifetime, her childhood friend Robert Dudley, she said to him, unswayed by passion, “I will have but one mistress here and no master.” She was born an old soul, knowing her truth straight away. When she was just 8 years old she fiercely declared, “I will never marry!”

Though controversial for a woman not to marry in the 1500’s, the Queen knew if she were to marry her Soul Mate, he would obtain legal control of her finances, her actions, and her rule of England. She wanted her freedom and independence, and this wasn’t congruent with marriage. Aside from her natural distrust in the longevity of marriage (her father had her mother beheaded when she was two, and she witnessed plenty more dysfunctional and disastrous marriages in her family), she also feared childbirth, an event that often led to death. In that lifetime, avoiding marriage protected her job, her personal freedom and also potentially her life. She ruled for 45-years, a single woman, sacrificing the romantics of earthly love for her life’s purpose of caring for her country.

Does that mean that she was happy living without snuggling next to her Soul Mate? Consider this: she cherished the last letter he ever wrote her before he died, slept with it beside her bed each night. And the intimate gift she gave him as a “sorry, I can’t marry you” still remains in pristine condition today.

The answer to your question is yes, your ex-boyfriend is still one of your soul mates in this lifetime.That doesn’t mean you are meant to be in a long-term intimate partnership. It does mean that your paths were meant to cross for an important reason. Try releasing the expectation of what a soul mate should be, and the outcome. Instead, try focusing on what you’ve learned from him. What do you want to change in yourself? What do you want to do differently in your next relationship? What did your ex give you that you are grateful for? What did you learn about yourself and relationships? Why did space open up in your life – are you feeling called to dedicate your time toward pursuing a new career or education in addition to a new love?

The idea of Soul Mates is very magical and incredibly romantic, and Soul Mate relationships can definitely be these things. But there is also the practical side, the work, that supports a Soul Mate relationship – a relationship guided by higher consciousness requires a lot of spiritual, emotional, mental and physical dedication. It requires constant practice of humility, patience, forgiveness, open-mindedness, gentleness, willingness to grow, acceptance and unconditional love. To be in a harmonious Soul Mate relationship, both souls must focus on healing themselves so they can be a healthy, happy partner for each other. When ego is more present than love, or you’re simply not on the same wavelength with life’s purpose, Soul Mates will not be able to flourish. But they will be able to learn from one another and appreciate the next, usually more spiritually evolved Soul Mate who enters their life!

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